Worry

     Life unfolds in the present. But so often, we let the present slip away, allowing time to rush past unobserved and unseized, and squandering the precious seconds of our lives as we worry about the future and ruminate about what’s past. “We’...re living in a world that contributes in a major way to mental fragmentation, disintegration, distraction, decoherence,” says Buddhist scholar B. Alan Wallace. We’re always doing something, and we allow little time to practice stillness and calm. When we are at work, we fantasize about being on vacation; on vacation, we worry about the work piling up on our desks. We dwell on intrusive memories of the past or fret about what may or may not happen in the future. We don’t appreciate the living present because our “monkey minds,” as Buddhists call them, vault from thought to thought like monkeys swinging from tree to tree.

My definition of Love

They say love is the greatest emotion. Yet it is used so loosely. I love this or I love that......What is love? 1 Corinthians states "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud" Really? to quote Woody Allen "To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering one must not love. But then one suffers from not loving. Therefore to love is to suffer, not to love is to suffer. To suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love. To be happy then is to suffer. But suffering makes one unhappy. Therefore, to be unhappy one must love, or love to suffer, or suffer from too much happiness. I hope you're getting this down."  Why do we say we love a book, a place, flower I mean you name it and we say we love it.

Have you ever googled "what is love?" There are sweet poems, quotes, beautiful songs that express such joy and happiness. Love makes everything better they say. Everyone dreams of this one thing called love. They search for it, long for it and when they think they found it all will be perfect. I mean from what everyone says it is great! The best thing is to feel love. Everyone has their own thoughts on love here is mine:

Love is Acceptance, Affection, Aggression, Ambivalence, Apathy, Anxiety, Compassion, Confusion, Contempt, Depression, Doubt, Ecstasy, Empathy, Envy, Embarrassment, Euphoria, Forgiveness, Frustration, Gratitude, Grief, Guilt, Hatred, Hope, Horror, Hostility, Homesickness, Hysteria, Interest, Loneliness, Paranoia, Pity, Pleasure, Pride, Rage, Regret, Remorse, Shame, Suffering, Sympathy.

True love is all of those rolled into one. This is why Love is the MOST powerful emotion of all. Which is good and bad. It will bring both the best and worst sides in you out. With real love you cannot have good without bad, happy without sad, the best without the worst. It is all the best things in life with all of the worst things. It will cause you the most happiness on this earth more then you could ever imagine but this also means it will cause you to feel the worst pain you could ever feel. During these times is when we find out if it is true love, after the worst times in our lives. After the worst pain has been caused is the other person still there? If you think you have never caused anyone pain in your life, then no one has truly loved you. If no one has caused you such pain you just could not understand how they could do that, then you have not really, deeply truly loved anyone which is really sad because to truly live, not just exist but truly live, you need to feel. And while it does hurt at times, love is truly the most precious and joyful thing in the world to have.

Not to sound mean but I hope each and everyone out there has been hurt in their lives, because then you know love. Nothing will hurt you if you don't love because you just won't care. Don't confuse abuse with love, that in itself is another story.

I love therefore I hurt, I hurt therefore I am loved. To all of those I have hurt really deeply, thank you for loving me. And to those who have hurt me really bad, I love you.

And because it is true love, I am sorry and I know you are still there as I am and will always be here.

LIFE

Start each new day with a commitment to do what's right - regardless of what may come your way. If you slip and make a mistake, fix, it, learn from it, and move on. There's no time to sulk or dwell on the past.
LIFE IS TOO SHORT.
If you get knocked down, push yourself back up again. Fight harder to stay on your feet... and to avoid despair.
LIFE COMES WITH STRUGGLES.
If you're doing everything right but can't seem to come out on top, be patient. Hold the course. Success is rarely an immediate, overnight thing.
LIFE FREQUENTLY MAKES US WAIT.
When you do succeed, take the time to enjoy it. Savor it. Take pride in yourself. Appreciate your accomplishments... and the people who helped you make them.
LIFE OFFERS MANY JOYS.
Remember that with each sunrise comes new opportunities. Yesterday is history. Today offers a clean slate upon which to record your life... and your legacy.
When you wake up, seek the courage and strength to do the right thing. Decide that t his will be another day in which you... WALK THE TALK!

Total Understanding

As I sit here thinking something just clicked in and hit me so hard it made me feel every single emotion know to man. Something I have always heard everyone say and I myself have said a million times before, "Nothing lasts forever"!!!! Before you think this is a negative post HOLD ON, it really is not!!!!! Upon reliving wonderful memories from oldests daughter's prom, which was brought on by my middle daughter's prom from the night before I realized how fast the years have gone, what is known to everyone just slammed into me with such force I cannot explain. NOTHING LASTS FOREVER...........BUT this also includes the hardest, darkest more troubling times in each of our lives!!!!! Reliving the just a few of the greatest memories I realized that the years have gone by so fast!!! AND together, as a family, united with such a pure love for each other we have gone through some of the most difficult times in our lives.....AND WE MADE IT!!!!! Those times in the past when I did not know how or if I could get through something, together WE did it and here we are today, we survived!!!!!!!!!! We over came and beat the darkest hardest days of our past!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! From the bottom of my heart my wish is for everyone to not only cherish all of the good times in their lives because they will go by so fast, but also realize that during those hardest times in your life when you feel like you are beat and cannot do it, those days too will pass.........................

Sitting here in awe from this I remembered a dream I had and then that all of a sudden made perfect sense!!!!! Recently I have been working on the next chapter in my life, trying to better not only myself but my family. I have been doing a lot of soul searching, finding myself again, trying to become a better person all around. During this phase I have been reaching all over, feeling around in lots of different areas and learning so much. A tiny part of this journey has lead me to explore my beliefs and understandings of life. I was feeling totally lost because of ALL of this, everything. I NOW know I am really on the correct path, I am just where I am suppose to be .

I don't usually remember my dreams but I started to and some I just I could not get off of my mind, they were in the back of my head tapping me. One of them opened my eyes to my current path, but was not feeling right, then one day WHAM. A different dream I had was weird, I was driving with the kids and a tornado hit us while we were in the car! (this really was a dream I had). I was terrorized, panicking!!!! Then my middle daughter said to pop the hood and trunk of the car so the tornado would lift us and we could fly "with it" instead of it throwing us all around and ultimately killing us. Again I panicked, I had no clue how to pop them open!!!! Then my youngest daughter spoke up and said "I know how!!!" then she showed me, there we were going up with the tornado, stabilizing, going with the flow of it UNTIL again I started to panic!!! I started to lose control, I did not know how to steer the car!!! Just then my oldest daughter starts to guide me tell me where to aim, how to navigate!!! Then we came to a landing, we survived!!! We went through something that should have killed us, would have killed anyone else, yet we did it. Working together we were able to make it through. As we got out of the car a sudden need came over us to run and help other people, show them how to survive what we just went through and I woke up as we were helping so many other people. It just hit me what that dream meant, and the above post is what that realization is....Together, united we can do anything. I am the most luckiest person in the world because I have such a wonderful family. PERFECT WE ARE NOT, BUT TOGETHER WE ARE PERFECT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WOW........